Hobbies?

Recently, I've been taking some time to think about myself.

What matter do I mind in my life?

I raise this question because I really want to have some time for myself

Wonder why do I say so?

It's because I used to spent a lot of time helping my dad.

I wish I could lower my dad's burden until one day I realize can rarely find what I am I looking for in my life.

This makes me feel bad.

I never think of spending some time alone.

I insist to come home every weekend if there are no curriculum during my early years of college life. 

Every weekend I will give all my time to my parents to do housework and other stuff.

When it comes to my ownself, I can tell that I don't have anytime to do my hobby. 

Briefly mention about things I love to do here.

I love:-

- D.I.Y

- Baking

- Travels

- Dancing

- Outdoor activities

- Making up new friends

and many more.......

Currently, I've sign myself up on Pinterest

A website for people to share and save creative ideas on a lot of different stuff

Guess there will be my new playground for me to stay whole day whole night

Stay tuned for more amazing idea about D.I.Y

Thanks for reading :)

Welcome back !

Oh my God, it's been a really long while !
I never thought I will be coming back to this blog.
Luckily my pet fish on the bottom of my blog page didn't die of hunger haha
Whoever are reading this please go and feed my pet fish RIGHT NOW
thank you :D

Alright, back to me now.
Story about how did I started my blog.
This was the place I used to express my feelings where I have no where to express
I was influenced by my friends to set up a blog.
As on the right hand side of my post, there's a column where I keep my buddies.
But guess they're no longer active since everyone has grown up and busy for their own life.

Reading back my old posts makes me feel so dumb hahha
The last update was 30th January 2013
It's been 2 years back..
Time flies
I remember I have a few loyal readers who will read every single of my post and talk to me.
I miss them..

Now I wish I can utilize this blog to do something I like.

Everybody, I'm back!

this is the first photo I use this blog

Disappointment.

This is an update for 29th of January 2013

Today, is the first time he didn't make his promise.
Even thou it is just a small matter
but I just can't forget it like this
this makes me think that is it I care matters between us more than he care?
I don't like this feeling

I ever told him that I don't hope this will happen
but yet, it still happen
what worse?
is he don't even notice that he had broke his promise to me.
:(
I don't want to be an annoying nagging lady
end up I tell him : nothing.

Actually I asked him when can I see him last night
and he said today.
I asked again and he confirmed to me
but today...
I don't know he was so busy until he forgot everything.
or I am not important at all.

I feel bad this night.
absolutely bad.
I will never take your promise seriously.
It just makes me feel even worst.

I've learn a lesson today
thank you .

A big disappointment !
heartache

Nostalgia...

Have you ever had a person that is so close yet so far with you?

I've review all my old photos on Facebook just now

I make a play back of my life

Photo is really so evil.

It keeps remind me of so many things and so many people.

those people and things that I couldn't get back anymore

Some is really great memory but some is not.

All it does is remind me of sweet yet painful memories

And mostly, the people and things will never ever happen again

the people that used to be good with you it's no longer be the same.

I miss you. 

* ps: if you're reading... *

Why?

That feeling comes to me again..
I don't like that feeling
I always say that : live your own life
but, can I really do that?

Everyday I keep wondering is my decision correct?
My god ! I wouldn't want to suffer in this anymore
I'm afraid :(
Should I let go?
But I love him
love or need? I can't differentiate.................
I only know that I feel happy and comfortable with him
I thought this is the feeling of love. Doesn't it?
Or I don't understand what is love at all....

Just get counselling by my aunt.
She's still don't know about his existence in my life.
And yea, she gave me a lot of advises of not having boyfriend at this age.
I'm kinda agree with her reason but somehow I think that two person that can overcome life's difficulties together is awesome.
Don't you think so?
She's not thinking this way.
She said we should get together with a guy that have stable job etc
so that our life can be wonderful
we doesn't know the future at this age.
seems like she think that wealthy is needed for a blissful relationship and I don't think so.

One point of her that I agree is your partner may no longer feel excited with you after a long period staying together for no marriage.
Boys will lose passionate on you as you both stay together for so long.
She told me that shouldn't stay with boy before marriage
Even you're not doing anything with that boy but other people may not think so
This one I strongly agree.
and the sad thing is we can't control other's mind so do their mouth.

All things that she spoke out shake my mind.
I.....I don't know how to do..

And one more thing I want to mention.
I really can't feel that I am NEEDED for you.
It seems like you can have me or lose me.
I can't feel that you're fighting for me
I....kinda disappointed with that.
Is it I think too much ?
By the way, I feel thankful of your warming heart words to me when I feel unstable.

OMG I don't want to suffering with this anymore !
Jesus, save me :(

变了。。

曾经，我们都那么的快乐。。

长大了，很多事情都不知不觉的改变了

有时真的好不想长大

每天都在想说，我到底有没有做错决定。

每个决定都带来了不一样的人生

我的这个决定会错吗？

我会幸福吗？

希望几年后的我不会后悔我现在所做的一切。

愿大家也如此。

Everything goes wrongly :(

I got a bad starting for 2013
sigh...
this make me can't think positive
fucked up !
I become more selfish, much annoying.
I became don't know how to social in this society
I want a new environment
I want to disappear..
Anything meaningful let me to do?

I am really negative now
I don't know what's wrong with my life.
Did I done anything to make it become like this?
Feel so speechless about everything had happened :/

This exam I feel so relaxing
no stress no panic
I wish every time exam also in this mood.

I am feeling so sad, so negative every day every moment.
uncontrollable..........................

who can read me?
or who can stand with me?
seems like no one take this serious..
the feeling of being left out is so damn 'great'
thank's for forgotten me.
I will stand alone as long as I can.
THANK YOU

bye :(

Worst month ever..

In conclusion, December is the worst month ever for me.
Keep happen bad things
omg
I was like cbujsifbuksjdfskirfua.lwogaweigbel.

Kay
so many bad things happen at once I feel like kanasai
I hope 2013 will be a brand new better year for me
putoh

Thank's God I still have my family and him
If not I think I really will suicide.

Having final exam right now
Hope I can get nice results.
That's all I require until now.
Fuck
I really can't relax
all my money gone like that
I curse that thief forever cannot pass his or her exam and forever alone.
Fuck you thief !! Go to hell !!!

That's all for this post.
Have a great day people.

My last weekend..

Hmm, I starting to skip classes from last Tuesday.
So I don't really know today is what day haha

Owh, I did had an awesome weekend last week but not this week.
Friday, a typical sleep until auto wake day.
After bf back from class we enjoy our time together
and late night he cook me dinner
I feel so loved.

Saturday, another day without alarm noise..
We both cuddling until afternoon then we wake.
We wake up to bath and start our cooking game
The ingredient we've bought few days ago
Cooking together is fun but we also had some different view on cooking
Argue argue then tolerant then come out variety nice dishes hahaaha
he wash all the dirty dishes after the meal
and after that we enjoy movie together and fall sleep together...
baby, i love you.

Sunday, an excited day.
I've been waiting for so long for a party
and tonight is Gaby's birthday
We gonna party hard :D
Music, Liquor, Cakes, Foods and Peoples !
bf wake up in the morning to attend a speech
then when I wake he is about to take nap since he didn't get enough sleep last night.
then I started to prepare meal for him.
I'm just like a wife -.-
prepare meal for him before go out to party
but I'm happy to do that haha
after done prepare meals for him I dress up myself and prepare to party
I did have a great night and I stay at outside
bf sounds ok with that but in fact he's not :x
he make complaints on the coming days
I feel like 'duhhhh, I thought you don't mind'
but I didn't speak out and he keep ask me to apologize yet I refuse to do so.
at last, I win :D

Gaby's Birthday group photo

babe zilin with me 

Continue skipped class on the next week and I come back to my hometown on Wednesday.
oh, not to remind
We have been together for two months
In this two months, argument & happiness never stop flowing.
I feel I loving him more day by day, rely on him more and more.

Final exam is around the corner.
I can't feel exam
I can only feel holiday, shopping, foods and vacation :D
I can't wait to go vacation with him!
That will be the first time we go vacation together whuhooo!
I'm excited !

Everything is awesome with the right person.
I love you once again baby :)

Here's some crap about my day.

Sometimes I just can't understand....
Am I really not caring or you always thought I'm not willing to help
Daddy..
Please know, I have my things to do too..
It's not only playing around kay..
please let me have my time.
even is weekend I always have my tasks to do.
tests keep coming....
and I want some entertainment
I nearly have no social life you know?
sigh..
Why you never understand?

I take time to think at night.
I used to think that silence is the best way to solve problems
but then I start to realize it is not.
At certain time we should voice up for what we think
Since I always keep silence, my boyfriend wouldn't know what am I thinking.
So, he keep doing things I don't like him to do until I tell him.
By the way, he is quite good to me.
He will always listen to me, just... I don't feel like talking hah
Whether I am wrong or him, he will apologize to me at the end.
Sometimes he is just too straight-forward
He don't think a lot.
When I tell him I'm ok with that even I'm not, he will think that I'm ok and keep doing -.-
He don't understand woman language.
Ok means Not Ok !
Get it? I guess he will never see this lol
When we both keep silent, my mind spin around to think what's in his mind.
I don't enjoy the feeling because we're not only not talking to each other, we don't even give a smiley face or eye contact hmmm..
so if I'm in good mood, I'll start to speak up.
Then things will go on beautifully ;)
I will even doubt to his feeling to me and start thinking bullshit
I will thought that he is not so into me, I am not good for him, he feel bored with me, he's thinking another girl etc..
I will keep thinking negative until I cry
It's stupid but I always do so.
but what he always do is show me how much he love me yet I feel not enough :p
I'm just a little too greedy

Today's mood is neutral.
I nearly had an argument with parents this morning.
I've sold a phone after that and this made my day.

Haha, should end up this long crap here.
Bye readers ♥

Yes, is him ! ♥

I have a boyfriend !!!!
Hahahaha!
I wanna tell the world loudly but there are just too many things to be consider..
I don't even tell my family about his existence.
Here is the only place I can be the real me.
No fake masks, no fake feeling.

Thank's God for let me get together with him.
I've been single for a long period of time.
Emm,should say that I never feel so in love together with a guy haha
His appearance never make me think of we both will be together.
He show up like a normal friend.
He is way too shy to talk with us girls.
He is not that kind flirty guy.
By observing his personality, I serious think that he is a good guy XD
But during that time, we girls just simply talk this behind.
And I seriously never thought I gonna spend my days with this guy since he's not my type at all.
Really.. I never imagine my boyfriend would be a person like him.
I mean outlook.
But then his personality really makes me love him so much.
He is a cute, lovely, considerate, stupid boy.

I can still clearly remember how he pursue me at that night ><
He was way too shy to speak it out.
I don't know weather he felt afraid or what.
The way he pursue is really cute like small kid haha
I will not forget that.

And also..
I will never forget how he disappoint me that night.
Maybe I should let go that fklcing memory and live my life happily.
kay... I'll skip this part haha
By the way, the way he apologize is so warm
He sent me a long long message to apologize and also a poem
Hahaha ! Yes, poem !
Poem that think by him he said.
I simply feel insecure because he just broke up with his girlfriend 5months ago and that girl is still into him.
But he did a lot of things to comfort me.
This warm my heart..

I'm just a simple girl that require simple yet fulfilling life.
He gave me the sense of belonging and the feeling of love.
It's just a short period then I have so many things to talk about him haha
I will records down my love story with him in this blog :)

He accidentally told me that before we get together, he used to wait for me online in late night
Haha, I never thought that he would wait for me to online.
During that time, I was facing insomnia quite a long period of time.
Every night when I online I will see him online but I will not talk to him first
He is the one who open up the chat box and talk to me.
and I thought he was just too boring and find no one to talk to him
We almost chat until the sun rises only go to bed everyday
He is a good companion all night long.
I feel so loved when I know this.

Well, here to upload some picture of him and me
Here we start our love journey!!

The 'incorporate' him -.-

He is just like a child haha

I think this is our first photo taken together lol

Feel so bad that we don't took much photos since we're not photo addiction ><

Wish our relationship long lasting ♥ 

Hi to him :)

It's 13th October today.
I'm blogging for the few days before, which is my birthday.

I enjoy my birthday this year
no big celebration, just friends play together
I got some present from few friends :)
and those present makes me feel sweet to the core of my heart
they are so cute
but the things I don't like is I went to club
I don't know how to say
lol
as an unimportant person, I shouldn't have so much feeling
that night, he hug me tight until I can feel the pain
that was the first time I can feel I am needed by a person.
I don't know whether I am a sparetyre or what..
I ...

There are too many things to be considerate..
it's not only you and I
I have to think for so long so far
I'm confused

sjkdfnoern
stop here...
I have no idea how to continue this shit
damn

再一次拥有。。

下着雪的那一夜 
你给的温柔紧握的双手 
温暖整个寒冬 
失去了曾经的拥有 
在你离开以后 
带走了笑容只留下寂寞 
忘了幸福是什么 
没有你的夜特别的漆黑 
只能闭上双眼去感觉 
没有我的夜谁在你身边 
代替了那个从前 
能不能再听一次你说爱我 
回到还在你怀里的时候 
能不能让我再一次拥有 
曾属于我的温柔

还小吗？

突然想起那个整天哭的我
天啊，我怎么那么会哭？
连续哭了整天整夜
哭到睡着，醒来又哭。
每天躲在房间里，像什么样 -.-

现在我也是躲在房间里，就想起了那时的我
自己一个人伤心都没有人知道
好难过
好难过。。。

我好想依赖着一个人一辈子
我好懒
懒得再想那么多

好吧，我该知足
这样实在不好
每天埋怨又得到什么？
要什么就多努力一些吧
虽然真的很羡慕别人随便就可以得到自己想要的
但那毕竟不是我的生活
他人的苦我未必看得到
这是我每天都会说来安慰自己的话
至少这样想我会努力一点，不会那么难过

我真希望某人会看到这个，然后在我需要人陪的时候就算只是默默坐在我身旁我也够了。

A Goal to Achieve !

After view several thinspiration website,
I decide wanna find back the 47 kg me in at least in 2 months time!

Sigh...
These years, I keep gaining weight and I just ignore that..
I always find myself an excuses to keep fattening...
so bad..
I think I will be success if I insist for a little long time.. just a little more long time..

About last month post..
I've said that I wanna quit to go club and I did it !
This makes me believe that I can do anything if I insist !!
Now I don't really think want to go to club even my friends invited me.
Somehow, I will not be used to it when the beginning of quitting..
Slowly... I will forget about it and not feeling want to go again..

Well, I gonna plan a diet plan for myself
Here's are several rules I must follow in the following month..

Firstly, I wanna quit all fast food including my favourite McDonald :(
sounds sad right..
but I have to do so...
In the process of slimming I will sometimes buy myself a set of fast food to encourage myself when there's a little lose weight
but this will cause myself gaining back and sometimes even more weight I put on..
After that, it's again a hard & long journey to go on..
Over and over again, I repeating those steps and I'm tiring with it!!!

Secondly, strictly no supper !!!
no matter how less I eat in day time, I must quit supper !
every time I keep think that but didn't action
this is my defeat point.. always say more than do....
I gonna be much more strict on this!!

Thirdly, non junk food lifestyle.
once in two weeks is acceptable right?
argghhhh, I try to make it once in a month
goshhh, or I try not to touch it until I success!!!!!!
rawrrr T.T
I must success!!!
I wanna tuck in that shorts!!!! I wanna own sexy legs !

Fourth, be as lazier as I can.
this is my personal way to slim down haha
I've tried to lay on my bed for whole day long and ate only one mini swissroll and several cups of water
I admit this is not a healthy way to diet but I enjoy that
I sleep for whole day long and not thinking of hunger
only a week, my friends said that I'm getting thinner
but then I spoil my plan with eating lots with them TT
the funniest part of this way is : The fastest you slim, the fastest you gain if uncontrollable LOL
Based on my knowledge, the starting of weight losing you still have to remain for a little time until your body is remain the weight for few months is more appropriate..
but still, buffet or what is not allow up to 2 times in a month.

Fifth, get rid of all seducing good food or else be controllable !
hmm, I will plan myself a trip each semester break.
you know, college life is kinda boring and have to concentrate on study..
what if I don't plan for a vacation during semester break and I go to next semester again?
I think I will be lifeless........
no motivation to go to final exam
and yeah, a vacation to a different place, we must try out all the food that we don't have in our land.
that will cause gaining weight no doubt!
try to share it with friends or keep it if it can be kept.
T_T
it's sad that cannot try out the local food during a vacation..
that makes a vacation lost it's meaning..
or the worst decision is strict myself again after the vacation.
this time must be even strictly !!

Ahhhh, be like this first la
Please !! Must insist !!!!!
Bear in mind the bad consequences of over eat!!
Peoples, please share food with me to makes my plan success :D
Million thanks to you !

I hate to get interrupt during I am updating my blog..
sometimes I'll get back and forget what's in my thought at start
Sometimes it is a super amazing sentences that I can think of.
and I just forget it like this.... zzz

haha, again a long post...
End up here!!
Happy reading, readers.

*I guess no one have so much patience to read until here :p*

it getting closer...

Today got presentation, but I haven't memorize yet lol
getting lazier and lazier...
final is around the corner...
I started to skip classes...
I just lazy to walk to class, it takes 10 minutes to reach :/
and I'm alone all the way :(
I don't like that feeling...

godamn....I didn't rest early these days...
I don't like it.
it makes me feel even tired in the day time...
daddy wanna get me a new phone, I hope he keep his promise
too bad...I grow up so old still need daddy spend so much so me....
I don't like this..

I kinda enjoy my life these days...
eat well play well sleep well but not study well..
start revision !!!!!!
faster !!! LOL
stop here, bye readers :)

I got lots of picture but camera is not with me now..
will upload them next time :)

Time fliesss..

Hi, I didn't update my blog for months
sorry for that
here I am to update it.

well, actually I'm not trying to gain readership here
I just record my life here while I still remember it.
you know, sometimes I don't have a laptop with me and that's difficult to let me update my blog.

hmm, talk about my recent's activities....
I dance on every Wednesday as previous month
oh ya, I add on one more activity that is swimming!
haha, recently swim quite often.
I enjoy myself when I'm in the water
of course, not the drowning part ><
I'm still a beginner yet..
even I'm not good in swimming but I find it interesting

after party months, I've stop to go to any club
It's crazy to visit club every week
I'm fed up
it's enough for me.
Now I think back the time, it's horrible.
how can I attend whole day classes and then go to club after that?
I don't even take a nap between it all.
Crazy party girl.....
and now it's over
every new things, I have to overtake it until I afraid of it.
I must tried up 10 up to 20 times only I can control myself.
stupid enough!!
haha
good also, at least I can control myself

I wanna throw away the old me and start it all over
I find my life goals
I finally know how and what should I do at what time.
and I seriously know that I have some changes this years
thank's for all people around me.
Even though there are many things happen in this year, but I'm happy with that
I grow up a little by little because of those matters
and now I turn into this me.
I can say I've experience many things
at least more than the other that same age with me.
I'm not this strong before, but now I have to be strong
only late night can bring my tears out
I admit. I do not do well in communication.
I will not clarify for myself even the others misunderstand me.
I live the way much into my own world.
but I am happy with that.
at least it's better than I have to worry how people think about me everyday

woahhhh, this is a long post. I gonna end this with some photos ;)

with my babe

self-portrait :)

quite a time ago haha

#nowplaying: A-Lin 《等你》

yeeen xoxo ♥

recent me.

Hi all.
it's been a long while I didn't update my blog

these days quite good ;)
social well but study not so well.
I gotta work hard on study
Guess what?!
I get ZERO marks for my midterm over 20 marks
I was like...........................HAHAHA KILL ME PLEASE
T_T

learnt to be more stronger to stand alone.
I used to rely on peoples around me very much
but then, when I find no one to let me rely on
I learn to be independent
before this, I thought I was already strong enough to handle any hard time in life
hmm, maybe this is another stage of growing up..

Realize that no body is suppose to be good with you
if you want others to be good with you, you also have to be good with others
I believe in karma
treat as you want to be treated back

ok la.. ending post...
just a lil update about me.
thank's for viewing.
Good night.

A failure...

I should stand up after fall...
it would be a hard step but I wish I can do it
Imma just too weak when facing relationship problem
I thought I had gone thru it, but then......
I still feel bad when see him, or even people mention his name
I can't avoid him
He is all around me
we have mutual friends, we got too many things in similar.
a little things pull him back to my mind
I see him almost everyday
IDK what is in my mind now~!!
:(
I just know I need to cry
cry it all out !!!!!!
I'm so reliable!!!!!!
Whyyyyyyy? ;(



daddy, I know you love me right?
please do not leave me when I need support.
I am SAD!!!!!!

all the promises we've made are no longer exist. 

Gone.....

Holiday finished.
Time to vvake up myself and prepare for nevv semester.

Damn the 'double U' on my keyboard is spoil.
I'm novv using double v to pretend as I still have the 'double U' :(
you knovv double u?
vvell, keep reading fluently like: double u double u double u....
get it ?

Alright, I did have a vvonderful holidays, haha.
I've visited Genting Highlands vvith four friends, Kuala Lumpur vvith Zilin and met Lian, then Melaka vvith Zilin and met CheeFei.
I get knovv 2 nevv friends at Melaka vvhich name JiaHao and YouHao
friends over there bring us around
vve've tried a lot of food over there :D
A lot of photos to upload...

trip begun...

us in the plane :)

food in Kuala Lumpur.

I didn't take much picture in  K.L.

a little thing use to access LRT vvhen I don't have touch&go card 

the tbs so clean and big.

the ticket to Melaka from TBS *ps* my name printed on :D

the us vvith our ticket to Melaka

First food in melaka :)

Church !!

the vvish vvell

the vievv from top

lovely blue sky

the unique design vvith cobblestone

the famous Melaka crepes and Melaka shake.

I love it!

the river vievv

entering the street.

first snack on the street. it taste sour >< 中国沙梨

the cendol~

I love MONEY hahaha

The antique..

Mr. muscle blah blah blah..

durian puff finished in one mouth *yumyum*

funny otak-otak uncle hah ;D

guess vvhat?! old time ice stick :D

this call 算盘子！taste like taroballs but it's fry one. made from yam.

this not-so-yummy thing cost me Rm 8

but it is special because you can choose your favourite fruit to blend it to be your ovvn flavour ice-cream.

the vegetarian fried mushroom 

香港钵仔糕~ hee..

the dimsum O-O so many!

this cute egg is tasty :D actually it is an ice-cream

臭豆腐, 臭till I really cannot eat （ ╯﹏╰）

the flovver bike :)

hovv they knovv ? hahahahha

Jonker Street; Guy Street.

the cafe vvith selling local products in affordable price!

This thing makes me die of missing it ! Durian Cendol! super nice（¯﹃¯）

us :)

Cute stool vvith painted cartoons

this tough vvoman is cool

the day vievv of 鸡场街

I like this 

this look old but......

this one look so class

nyonya laksa- must try :) at Jonker 88

the indian girl dravv on her hand

and also me :)

hahahahaha

the ship museum 

us again

Rosella drinks

opps, it's peeling ><

first try!

nice egg tart from Yeast Pastry House

the famous satay celup !! I vvant more~~

The Mahkota Parade

Firevvorks vvhile vvaiting car to go back

the club is just avvesome!!

It's on the third floor.

haha

this thingy is delicious

I see sticky rice under it. it taste really good

the place vve stay

toys of my nevv friend :)

chilling vvhile vvait for plane at airport........

earing from Jonker Street

hand of both us, I simply like it!

three of us go to cinema and vvatch Titanic in 3D and The Vovv

Four girls to Genting trip, and also a boy, he is not in the photo :/

before the 4D movie started...

us vvith the flovver given by clovvn in the theme park :D

HAHAHAHAHA this is so hahahahha XD

our heavy luggage and fevv local products

trip ended.....

I take one day to done this blog update -o-

those photos take long time to upload

some more...

I playing other things vvhile updating hahahha

Holidays ended....

Nevv semester started..

no more day dream...

Fight hard for this semester!!!

ahha, got something to report!

Today, my result of semester three is release.

I quite satisfy vvith it :D

but I believe I can improve more for next time.

not high but standard level, I get 3.4 gpa and 3.0 for cgpa

I vvill keep on pull it higher

I guess this is the longest post I ever posted.

Hope you guys vvon't feel annoying but enjoy :) ♥

Hurray~!